


If it Takes Forever

by madasthehatterforalice



Series: Soulmates Universe [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2017-11-16 22:23:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 10,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/544499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madasthehatterforalice/pseuds/madasthehatterforalice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every human being is born with a timer on their wrist that counts down to the day they meet their soulmate. Steve Rogers' timer has never had numbers until one day he wakes up in the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Only Stars and I Was Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Johnlock Dabble](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/12950) by spookynerdwp. 



_****d **h **m **s_

By the time Steve Rogers met Peggy Carter he’d become used to the asterisks that adorned his wrist where his countdown should have been. That didn’t mean that he ever stopped feeling that empty ache in his heart, he’d simply gotten used to it. But when he met Peggy, with her spirit like fire and her nerves like steel and her red zeroed out countdown, he thought he’d met a kindred soul. The night she found him, alone in a bombed out bar waging a war against the serum to drink away the pain of losing his best friend, she told him her story of loss.

Unlike Steve she had been born with a fully functioning timer. She’d watch it as she grew older, dreaming of growing closer to meeting her soul mate. She dreamed of his accepting eyes, his loving hands, and his kind heart. She dreamed and dreamed and loved him with all her heart though she’d never met him. Steve envied the softness he saw in her eyes as she talked of all the plans she had made in her youth, plans for a life taken from her. That softness hardened with long buried pain when she spoke of her sixteenth birthday, waking in the night to a burning in her wrist, excruciating burning and even more painful red zeroes. Watching her Steve wasn’t sure if he envied the pain that filled her because it meant she was not empty.

That night was the second time he willingly showed someone his wrist, though he was sure she’d seen it before. The first had been his mother, the day he realized he wasn’t like the other kids. Sarah Rogers had cried for her son while she looked at him with a mother’s pity and told him to be brave. Peggy didn’t look at him with pity, she looked at him like she’d finally found someone to understand her pain.

Their kiss, their fleeting kiss, before his last flight was not heat and fireworks but tenderness and “don’t leave me alone again.” Later, when he was forced to tell her he was putting the Hydra plane in the water, was the first time he felt that emptiness as acutely as the day he had discovered it. He went down with her still making plans. The last thing he felt, before the numbing cold of the ice, was sorrow for leaving her alone again.

_****d **h **m **s_

It was a sunny day, well, it wasn’t but Howard liked to say it was, when Anthony Edward Stark was born. Howard liked to pretend the circumstances of his birth were as perfect as his son could never be. Tony was 3 years old when his mother told him why the housemaids looked at him with such pitying eyes. She told him of the timers, how they counted down to the day you met your soul mate, the other half of your soul.

“But, Mother,” he said, “I don’t have numbers. I have stars.”

“You are special, my little one,” she said between clicking steps, “you’re soul is already complete.” While Tony pondered that in the best way he could, his mother fluttered off to finish her plans for whatever social occasion had arisen.

It was the last kindness his mother ever gave him.

When he was 17 he built Dummy to ease the emptiness that clawed at his soul. He didn’t feel complete. So he built and learned and excelled to keep the emptiness at bay. Maybe, if he was accomplished enough, smart enough, good enough, someone would still love him, without needing to be the other half of his soul.

Nearly 20 years later he met Pepper Potts and while she wasn’t, couldn’t be, the other half of his soul she was the other half of his mind. She remembered everything he forgot or never tried to remember in the first place. She completed him like a limb he hadn’t even known was missing.

He’d begun to think she thought the same with Proof Tony Stark has a Heart. Then, with Stark Expo burning in the background, she told him her counter had zeroed out around the time she’d started working for him. She told him that she had chosen to ignore it but in the back of her mind she had always wondered if it was him.

He told her of his stars and she told him she didn’t care. And for a while he stopped thinking about the emptiness.


	2. When I Opened My Eyes Everything Had Changed

Steve Rogers opened his eyes in an unfamiliar room with a familiar game on the radio and a woman lying to him with fear in her eyes. Once outside he wasn’t sure if it was with horror or wonder that he looked at familiar streets of Times Square that glimmered with a colorful, unfamiliar facade. 70 years the man in black told him and all he could think to say was, “I had a date.”

“You might just have another,” was the man’s response.

  
Steve just looked at him in confusion before the one-eyed man took a grip on Steve’s hand and showed Steve his own wrist.

  
 _0014d 03h 09m 42s_

  
_41s_

  
_40s_

  
It was a full minute before Steve looked up from his wrist again. By this time the armed men surrounding him had taken a more relaxed stance and the man was looking at him with shadows in his eye.

  
“It…never had numbers before,” Steve’s voice was barely above a whisper, the sound was nearly lost to him over the never ceasing bustle of New York City but apparently not lost on the other man. When Steve returned his gaze to the man’s face he saw comprehension there, trying to look like understanding. The look clearly took actual effort.

 

Tony woke up alone, again. But Stark Tower was just the sparkling gem he had planned for and he had a beautiful girlfriend heading up his company, life was good…Except he’d been wearing long sleeved shirts for the past 2 weeks hiding the numbers that had suddenly appeared on wrist. He had a soul mate. And it wasn’t Pepper. Unsure of really what to do with that information he’d taken to ignoring it.

  
Even so, every so often, every few hours, he would find himself staring at his countdown. Unsure if he was wanting or dreading the stars to reappear.

_0000d 05h 10m 50s_

  
Tony rolled out of bed, Pepper was in Washington and he was due for a meeting at SHIELD headquarters. He was in the shower contemplating the files Agent Coulson, Phil, had given him when JARVIS patched through a call.

  
“Sir, Iron Man’s assistance is requested in Germany. The being known as Loki has been spotted there.”

  
“Prep the mark VI and tell Fury not to get his eye-patch in a tangle I’m on my way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry these first chapters are so short I'm working on it.


	3. The Oceans Between Us Where Nothing is Simple

Steve had been _relieved_ to get the call to action. He was _aching_ to punch at something that could punch back, so much so he couldn't even find it in himself to be ashamed of it. He'd been at war before he'd gone under. He'd spent every day fighting tooth and nail for his country, his freedom, his _life_. Now all of the sudden and 70 years later he's back a home that will never be home again with nothing to do and no one left to see.

He was a soldier, he was used to awaiting orders, the military is one unending cycle of hurry up and wait. So, awaiting orders? He could do that. What he couldn't do was sit around and wonder if, after over half a century, the world would even have a _use_ for him anymore.

But if sitting around waiting for a call that may never come, a use that may never be found, was painful then meeting Agent Phil Coulson was excruciating. Agent Coulson reminded him of everything he hated about his time as a dolled up spokesman for bond sales. No one seemed to care that Steve Rogers had survived the crash that should have ended his life. This new century only cared that Captain America fought on.

Steve had a tediously accurate internal clock, he'd never paid any attention to it before the war so he didn't know if it was an affect of the serum or not. Either way it made him completely aware of each awkward second that passed between when Miss Potts left him alone with Agent Coulson to when they touched down on the floating airbase.

After several hours trapped in Agent Coulson's company, Agent Romanoff was a breath of fresh air in a way the crisp sea breeze could never have been. While she fully acknowledged his identity as Captain America she only did so in order to tease. She reminded him a bit of Bucky in that way.

Meeting Dr. Bruce Banner was awkward in a way Steve could have never been prepared for, shaking hands with a man who may or may not become a monster at provocation. Steve had never considered himself prejudice but the way Dr. Banner tried to joke about his "condition" did little set him at ease.

Then the floating airbase became a _flying airbase_ and Steve once again found himself relieved to be called into action. Fighting, fighting he knew how to deal with. Fight was simple. Fighting wasn't men who looked at him like the women in the autograph lines at bond rallies. Fighting wasn't friends who could become enemies at the drop of a hat. Fighting wasn't a timer that just ticked away telling him nothing and everything. Fighting was simple, his fist, their face, simple. Fighting was relief.

 

Tony was always many things when he donned the Iron Man armor. He was invincible. He was powerful. He was _relieved_.

When he put on his suit he could _fly_.

No matter what Pepper told him, flying in the suit _did_ count as flying under his own power. It was flying under the power of his brain. It was his brilliance that gave him the ability, it was his arch reactor that made it possible.

The sick twist in his stomach at thoughts of Pepper was a new development, a _two week_ new development. For so long Pepper had been his happy place, the person who held him close when he tried to smooth over his hurts with sharp wit and sharper, faker, smiles. Now, having to bury her too...

Flying was simple. Flying wasn't a girlfriend who deserved better. Flying wasn't infuriating SHIELD secrets kept too long. Flying wasn't a timer that was probably, hopefully, ticking backward, taking him further from the one he was empty for. Flying was simple, his suit, the open sky, simple. Flying was relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve had a lot more to say this chapter...


	4. The Day I Met You I Should Have Seen

Even before Steve engaged the hostile he was already sick of this. He knew what his countdown read, he’d taken a good long look at it before donning his new red gloves, he was supposed to be meeting his soul mate in mere seconds but instead he was battling an alien with horns and a scepter.

Loki, they called him. Steve thought it was a strange name but so many things were strange about this new century he had woken up in he was beginning not to question some of the smaller things. Smaller things like names or the flying suit of armor that landed beside him.

“Mr. Stark,” even though he’d read Anthony “Tony” Stark’s file and knew he was the face behind the metal mask Steve couldn’t help that Howard’s face flashed in his mind as he said the words. He was ashamed of himself for it. He’d spent a good amount of time familiarizing himself with Tony Stark’s presence and influence in this new time in order to avoid just such a happening. There was no way a man as enigmatic as Howard Stark left much room for a son to stake his own claim. Tony Stark doubtlessly wanted to make his own name in the world. From what Steve could see the world wouldn’t let him. Everywhere he looked was Stark Technologies and following close behind was talk of Tony Stark’s “new direction.” Steve wouldn’t say he felt sorry for him but it was a close thing. Stark was clearly brilliant

“Captain,” came the response bearing no inflection. Steve wasn’t sure if that was the armor or not. He had hoped that his past experience working with a Stark would help him in dealing with some of the issues he’d read about in Tony Stark’s file but as they boarded the quinjet with Loki in hand he wasn’t so sure.

Steve itched at his wrist but didn’t remove his glove. He didn’t need to. He already knew. 70 years later and he’d missed another date. He buried the emptiness that tried to suffocate him behind Stark’s distasteful “Capsicle.”

 

It was a long flight back to the Helicarrier and Tony was getting antsy. He was resolutely not thinking about the fact it had been well over 5 hours since he’d last checked his timer. He knew from stories that that the countdown could jump around based on the decisions made on either side and with it this close to the wire it was only the presence of the alien called Loki that kept him from removing his gantlet. Assuming it hadn’t jumped about with the unplanned trip to Germany than at some point during the short fight with Loki he had met his soul mate. But instead of getting to know the person he’d spent his whole life thinking didn’t even exist he was stuck here with an alien and the man he’d envied his father’s affection for.

Then his captive is being dragged off. “And now there’s that guy,” Tony sighed through the Iron Man, he was getting down right irritated. And when he got irritated he got snarky. Hence the drapes line. Not his best work but today was not shaping up like he’d planned. If he missed his countdown for Shakespeare in the park there would be no power on earth that would console him.


	5. I Missed You

Stark seemed angry, overtly angry, and Steve couldn't help his annoyance that Stark even thought he had a reason to be so angry. If anyone had a right to be angry in this situation it was Steve. But, no. Instead he had to put up with Stark's piss poor attitude, jump out of a plane after him, and break up a fight between two friendlies.

This day was just getting better and better. It was only his wartime experience that allowed him to keep a cool head until, "Are we done here?"

Steve didn't think he'd ever been this impatient.

Clearly Stark was thinking around the same lines because as soon as the jet landed he stormed off.

"Don't worry about Stark," Agent Romanoff said, coming up behind him, "Coulson'll make sure he gets to the briefing on time."

Steve raised an eyebrow at her, "Is there more than one 'Agent Coulson?' 'Cause Stark's a bit...overwhelming." Surely she wasn't talking about the bumbling man he'd already met.

"He is," she agreed, "But don't let Phil fool you. He's been dealing with Stark since the get go." Half of what Natasha said made him feel like he was missing out on the joke.

 

* * *

 

The first thing Tony had done once free of the Iron Man was look at his wrist. The second was to punch a wall because _Starks don’t cry_.

_0000d 00h 00m 00s_

So he did the only thing he knew how to: He deflected. Bury it. Bury it deep. Deflect, distract, ~~don't cry~~. Maybe this was his life from now on. Maybe he'd had his last day of genuine feeling.

"Mr. Stark," Agent Agent just _appeared_ , clearly he wasn't _completely_ back on his game just yet, "if you'll follow me."

Distraction, "So, Portland. That kind of distance has got to put a strain on the relationship..." Agent didn't stop him so he just kept talking. Which was good. It was a good thing because if he stopped talking it was entirely possible the emptiness might swallow him whole.

 

* * *

 

Since finding his numbers Steve had made a habit of noting other people’s. Nick Fury had red zeroes, seen in a glimpse beneath layers of black. The sweet waitress by Stark Tower was meeting her soul mate any day now, proudly on display for her intended. Doctor Banner bore all zeroes, revealed as cuffs rolled up like his timer was something he didn't put much thought to. Natasha hadn't let him see her timer and Thor didn't have one. Agent Hill still had a while to wait, she told him herself and he hadn’t seen Agent Coulson’s timer but the rumors said he zeroed and the awkward way he deflected Stark’s “help” confirmed it, for Steve at least. He figured Stark was zeroes as well since he had heard of his CEO/girlfriend. For all his arrogance, Steve didn't think he would be the type to stick with one person if they weren’t his soul mate.

As he watched the son of his dead friend circle the large meeting table spouting gibberish he was almost grateful for the distraction. Timers were everywhere and he needed something, anything to keep his attention from another missed chance. And Tony Stark seemed to come custom made for distraction, firing off words and ideas faster than Steve could find a reference point. It was dizzying and frustrating but it was distracting and he was exactly what Steve needed.

_0000d 00h 00m 00s_

He’d missed it. Even as he was planting the virus bug on Fury’s console all he could think was I missed it. I missed it. So he brought out another old diversion trick, throw words into the room and see where they stick. "He would have to heat the Cube to 120-million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier." _Oh, hello._ Doctor Bruce Banner, oh this could be good. Someone on Tony's intellectual level who also created his superhero-ness. Not a word. Yes. But he's working on it. Should have it patented by Sunday.

God, he was even doing it in his own head now.

"Unless Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect."

"Well, if he could do that, he could achieve heavy ion fusion at any reactor on the planet." This was perfect. Brucey had all the right answers. They were the intellectual equivalent of soul mates and, for now, that could be enough. It had to be enough. It would be enough.

"Finally, somebody who speaks English," Tony wasn't positive he kept _all_ the relief from his voice.

"Is that what just happened?" Steve fought to keep the truth of his annoyance under wraps. No one needed to know Steve Rogers was being eaten alive by loneliness when Captain America was needed for battle. He would just carry on the way he had during the War, shoulders back, chin high, heart breaking.

Of course Rogers had to speak up, ruin his Bruce-buzz. If Tony wasn't so off kilter with the world in general right now he'd examine what kind of karma lay in store for people who got annoyed with Captain America but for the moment he just wanted to stick out his tongue and say, "Shut up, Rogers, no one was talking to you," like he was 5 years old again.

 

* * *

 

It goes without saying that Stark frustrated Steve to no end. He was everything about this new century that made Steve uncomfortable, that pointed out just how much he’d missed, how much he’d lost. Stark was all high speed and references that were far clear of Steve’s ability to relate. The longer it went on the more he began to suspect that the other man, both older and younger than him at the same time, was doing it on purpose. It had stopped being a welcome diversion and was now an itch under his skin, reaching out for Stark like a touch would shut him up.

So when Fury made a reference to The Wizard of Oz Steve was more than happy to point it out. And if he turned to Stark while he said it, it was only because he was standing behind him and Steve couldn’t see him. Steve did not need Stark’s approval, nor did he want it…He was more than a little glad when the science twins headed off to the lab area waiting for them. Tony Stark was even more confusing to Steve than the rest of the 21st century.


	6. I Can't See the Wood for the Trees

It goes without saying that Tony noticed Bruce’s zeroes, but, being Tony Stark he did say something. Bruce looked at his timer with something akin to surprise, a recent thing then…

“Yeah,” said Bruce, “I definitely didn’t expect that…”

“Who?” he asked, even though he wanted to ask when. Like maybe it was wrong, maybe they were off, maybe Bruce was his soulmate, maybe he wasn't alone, even though he knew otherwise.

The other man got even more bashful, if that was possible, “Agent Romanoff.” Tony’s disbelief must have been evident as Bruce continued, “She…she came to get me in Calcutta. I didn’t even notice until we were half way here. We haven’t talked about it, for all I know she doesn’t even know.”

“She’s one of Fury’s. She knows,” Tony said, confident in his assessment, he was always confident in his assessments. Bruce’s face turned a bit gloomier so Tony added, “I’m sure once the world isn’t in peril you’ll have your DTR, catch that you are.” Bruce smiled a tiny smile at that before deflecting to talk about gamma radiation and Tony mentally patted himself on the back for a job well done.

He was having so much fun in science-land with Bruce that he hardly even noticed when Captain Your-Daddy-Loved-Me-More walked in. At least, that was until Rogers more or less demanded his attention with his comments.

* * *

 

That was it. Tony Stark was insane, insane with a death wish. Why else would anyone purposefully attempt to aggravate Doctor Banner? Stark was going to get everyone of the helicarrier killed and all he did was laugh. “Is everything a joke with you?”

"Funny things are."

Steve hadn’t known the man that long but his countdown was at zero, he had no idea for whom, and Tony Stark was rapidly becoming a sore spot in Steve’s 21st century existence. He was crass and impulsive and…brilliant, “And you’re all about style aren’t you?”

“Of the people in this lab: which one is A) wearing a spangly outfit and B) not of use?”

Despite his underhanded way of doing it Steve knew Stark had some good points about Fury, just as he knew the moment he left the lab area that he’d over-reacted. He looked down the hallway in the direction he had intended to go before turning heel and heading the opposite way. Maybe he could put the doubts Stark had raised to rest and then they could all focus. And if it had the added benefit of proving his worth to the other man…well that was just cream.

* * *

 

That was it. Steve Rogers was clearly on this earth, scratch that, in this century to take the joy from Tony’s life. He didn’t even care if his daddy issues showed when he said, “That’s the guy my dad never shut up about? I’m wondering if they shouldn’t have kept him on ice.”

That made him laugh for some reason, “Guy’s not wrong about Loki.” Was he really _defending_ Captain Tight Ass? Bruce? His Bruce? “He does have the jump on us.”

“What _he’s_ got,” Tony came back, “is an Acme dynamite kit.” Show _him_. Standing up for…not Tony. “It’s going to blow up in his face,” he asserted, “And, I’m going to be there when it does.”

“Yeah,” Tony heard humoring in Bruce’s voice, “I’ll read all about it.”

“Uh-huh,” Tony voiced disbelievingly, like the Hulk would sit out a fight like this, “Or you’ll be suiting up with the rest of us.”

“You see,” Bruce said, like it hurt him a little to do so, “I don’t get a suit of armor. I’m exposed. Like a nerve. It’s a nightmare.”

Fate must have made a mistake…again. How could someone so heartbreakingly honest be soulmated to _Agent Romanoff_?

But Bruce didn’t know “exposed.” Exposed was not the raging power to take down anything in your path. No. Exposed was trusting your life to anyone who knew about the little light in your chest. Exposed was having that trust turned back on you. And he told him so…in so many words.

“So your saying that the Hulk,” to hear him so…hesitant to even name the Hulk to hear him speak so longingly of control made Tony begin to realize why scary, deadly Natasha Romanoff would be good for him, “the other guy saved my life?” Then his voice hardened and _there_ he is. There’s her soulmate. “That’s nice. It’s a nice sentiment. Saved it for what?” She was already so in control, even when she wasn’t.

“I guess we’ll find out.”

“You may not enjoy that,” he said and it echoed words he’d heard before. _That’s not up to you._

“And you just might.”

Tony didn’t trust Romanoff, not as far as he could throw her, but he could concede she was an excellent match to his new friend. But all this introspection was leaving him melancholy so instead he shifted his focus back to Bruce. In Bruce he’d found someone he would willingly do every science-y thing under the sun with for the rest of his life.

It was Bruce, in the end, who broke the silence. "You’re too hard on him you know.” He paused before clarifying, “Captain Rogers. It has been a crazy couple of weeks for him.”

"For him?" Tony asked, really only indignant in voice, "You know I was supposed to meet my soulmate today? Instead I get his star spangled ass."

"Maybe..." Bruce hedged.

"No, Brucey-bear, not a chance," Tony knew where his insta-friend was going and waved his hand dismissively to cut it off, "You've heard the stories. I grew up on them: _The great love story of Steve Rogers and Peggy Carter_." So it came out more sarcastically than he meant, he really couldn't care at this moment. He was justified. More than justified. He was _vindicated_. If there was anyone on Earth who was decidedly not his soulmate it was Steve Rogers.

Bruce seemed to understand that was all Tony wanted to say on the matter because he blessedly changed the subject.


	7. With You, Even at Odds I Feel in Sync

Never trust someone with shadows in their eyes, they will only lie to you. Steve reprimanded himself as he looked at the crates of Hydra weapons and SHIELD prototypes. For all the world had changed it had clearly stayed the same. People lied and waged war and tried harder and harder to come up with new, inventive ways of killing each other. As the doors to the lab opened to him he heard Stark’s voice ask, “What is ‘Phase 2?’”

“’Phase 2’ is SHIELD uses the Cube to make weapons,” all at once every knotted fiber in his belly that had boiled with rage, that had sought to prove Stark wrong just because he was Stark and cocky as hell, now screamed to agree with him, “Sorry, computer was moving a little slow for me.” He didn’t miss Stark’s little smirk at his jab, like he was proud of Steve, who, in turn, felt both pleased and slightly affronted by this. Stark was the most confusing man he’d ever met even if solely because Steve was constantly conflicted about him.

“I’m sorry, Nick. What were you lying?” it felt good to be on Stark’s side. It was like a bone deep like the satisfaction of a job well done. It was filling like the completion of longing. It was confusing but it was _right_.

“Remind me again how you made your fortune, Stark?”

How _dare_ Fury bring in Stark’s past! Anyone with eyes could see the man was trying his hardest, his best, his brightest, to separate himself from that avenue. “I’m sure if Stark still made weapons Stark would be neck-deep…” _in all this. But he doesn’t. He’s a better man than that._

“Hold on,” and _of course_ Stark was interrupting, “How is this now about me?”

“I’m sorry, isn’t everything?” _Why can’t you just let me talk? I’m trying to defend you, you arrogant bastard._

Admittedly, Steve wasn’t sure how they went from agreeing with each other to at each other’s throats, nearly literally, but he’d be damned if he was going to back down.

“Stark, so help me God, you make one more wisecrack…” Steve couldn’t even think with that man around. He wouldn’t just _shut up for one goddamn minute_! But he just pushed and pushed and pushed.

* * *

 

Misdirect. Distract. How did the song go? _Give ‘em the ol’ three ring circus_. No one could see Tony Stark break. He was invincible. He was Iron Man. He was a _Stark_.

But then there was Steve Rogers and…Oh, Tony wanted to get under his skin. Wanted to bury himself in there like the stories of the great Captain America had been doing to him since childhood. He wanted to poke and prod and see just how much it took to _really_ get the good Captain’s goat.

The whole _idea_ of the man in front of him being on anyone’s ”Threat Watch List” was the most laughable idea Tony had ever heard. So really he was controlling himself with that angry bees line but seriously. When was the last time the man ever took a swing at someone who wasn’t an enemy of the free world?

* * *

 

Typical. Stark was treating this whole thing like one big joke. Like a supposed Norse god was invading Earth just for his personal amusement.

Then Stark has his hand on Steve’s shoulder and that is…not ok, “You know damn well why. Back off.”

“Oh,” the other man breathed out, “I’m starting to want you to make me.”

What was it about Stark that made Steve want to protect him and hit him all at the same time?

He couldn’t help the way his focus drifted to where ever Stark was in the room, couldn’t help the way his eyes drifted down Stark’s body of their own accord, couldn’t help the way he circled him now, so similar to how Stark himself had been circling that briefing table not all that long ago, but this time it was Steve in control. And Stark would know it.

“Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?”

He was horribly hard to ignore and Steve wanted nothing more than to lay the man bare. Take him apart and show him how to submit to the bigger man, to the stronger man, to _Steve_.

* * *

 

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.”

This whole day had been…awful. Really just the worse. It was betrayal. It was disappointment. It was a lifelong heartache that refused to die. And it was a sorrow that was quickly turning to hate all directed at the dear Captain. If it hadn’t been for him…If it hadn’t been for him…

His words no longer felt like his own but it didn’t matter, he took a step into Rogers’ space and it felt good, it felt right. It made something flare in Tony’s chest to be in his face, the closer he got the brighter it became until all he could see were blue eyes and that enveloping blaze.

Typical.

He missed his soul mate but he found his perfect opponent.

Of course that didn’t explain why the fiery urge he was pushing down was to kiss him rather than punch him in his self-righteous face. God, those eyes were piercing.

“Put on the suit. Let’s go a few rounds.”

Then Thor laughed.

Tony blinked and rubbed his eyes, how long had it been since he’d blinked, how long had he been talking. He tried to compose himself. He was definitely not in the right frame of mind to be listening to his newest friend talk about his attempted suicide.

* * *

 

There was a brief moment, right before the computer began beeping, a brief moment that felt like clarity, like taking a breath Steve didn’t even know he needed, when the anger began to clear and all that was left was…Steve licked his lip. He _couldn’t_ name what was left because it just. Wasn’t. Fair.

Then there’s Stark trying to throw himself into chaos with no plan and it was like the past 46 seconds hadn’t happened.

They were right back in each other’s spaces, in each other’s faces and this time it was not the anger that was strongest.

It was not the urge to hit Stark that burned hottest it was…it was…

An explosion rocked the airship.

…it was all going to Hell in a hand basket.


	8. A World on Fire and All I See is You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long, Tony wasn't talking to me. Turns out Steve was supposed to be talking. Anyway hopefully things will go smoother from here.

Tony Stark was distracting.

Never had it taken longer than the actual length of the explosion to get his mind off of personal things and into mission mode. But in the aftermath Stark was the first thing Steve saw and the first thing he thought of.

"Put on the suit."

Even as he said it he wasn't thinking about Iron Man in the battle now sprung on them. He was thinking about the fact the Iron Man was _armor_ , he was thinking about Stark _safe_.

"Engine three. I'll meet you there."

He was almost pathetically grateful when Stark's armor proved to be in a different direction than Steve was ultimately headed.

* * *

 

Steve Rogers was distracting.

Even as the armor curled around him, Tony could still feel Rogers' hand at the small of his back. God, what he wouldn't give for a moment to _breathe_. To work through this. For all his genius Tony really wasn't sure what to make of Rogers. Just 5 minutes ago it was clear. But, now...Now he felt a warmth at the base of his spine like Rogers' hand never left and the blue of the HUD only served to remind him of blue eyes searing into him.

Being Iron Man, wearing the armor, normally cleared his head, but right now he's lucky he remembers which engine _is_ engine three.

* * *

Opening a door to empty space is a sensation not even a super-soldier can ever get used to. On a airplane it's one thing, on a thing that _carries_ airplanes it's quite another. This...this was really bad.

"Stark, I'm here!"

When the Iron Man appeared Steve felt the relief crash over him like a wave. Steve only knew enough to know that a _big gaping hole_ was a bad thing so he happily took Stark's directions.

The Iron Man was big, bulky when compared in his mind's eye to the man inside but its movements were graceful. _Not the time, Rogers._

_Really, not the time._

Maybe Peggy had broken him. No. That wasn't fair. He was probably always broken, not only wanting what he couldn't have but wanting what was already someone else's.

Working together Steve felt the rightness he had first felt when they were agreeing with each other in the lab, but there it had been an echo, a faint outline of potential. Out here, just the two of them, it was blinding. How could anyone encounter that rightness and not want to claim it for themselves?

"Speak English!"

Even if he did occasionally have to remind Stark words like "stator" and "maglev" meant nothing to him, "red lever" he could work with.

* * *

 

Tony _had_ been hoping that restarting the turbine, saving thousands of lives, would make for a nice distraction.

Turns out: flying in a circle watching a RPM count go up  gave one _plenty_ of time to think, and all his stupid, genius brain seemed to want to think about was piercing blue eyes and warm, broad hands. Over and over his traitorous neurons kept repeating, _There's someone I can go toe-to-toe with. There's someone who can keep up_.

 _Pepper_ , he reminded himself, _beautiful, strong, Pepper. My girlfriend Pepper. Pepper, who's zeroed out...just like me. Pepper, who has a soul mate out there waiting for her, maybe even missing her. Pepper, who stays with me anyway_.

Yet staying with her now, knowing they _both_ belonged to other people, tore him apart with guilt. Never mind neither of them knew _who_ they'd zeroed out _for_. Being in her shoes, in a manner of speaking, heels did nothing for Tony's calves, showed him it was wrong to have stayed with her as long as he had.

Didn't this day just keep getting better and better?

It was really kind of fitting that he was flying around in circles as his thoughts were doing the same in his head.

Rounding on themselves and bringing back to the same conclusion over and over again: soul mate or no, he had to break it off with Pepper.

The small, hidden hope that had been guiltily growing with his suddenly ticking timer was shriveling up inside him, a poison to the part of him that desired romantic affection. He loved Pepper, he likely always would, but like this...he knew there was no way he could sustain a romantic relationship.

* * *

 

He looked across the gap. Why were there armed Shield personnel...Then they threw a grenade toward the engine and it's not even a question of thinking anymore he was already jumping across the empty space not even sure where he was going to land until his feet touched down. Even airborne though it didn't matter, it didn't matter if...Really all he had to do was see that they were aiming for Stark and suddenly he was leaping into empty space. The relief he feels when he lands isn't even for the fact he does land but for the explosion below him, so far away from its intended target.

Thank god guns hadn't changed much...or at least triggers were the same.

As he lay down a spread of bullets he was very aware that all he was doing was buying time. He had never been that great with guns, he left that to Bucky, but at least he could buy them some time. Really at this point that was what they needed: time. Time to regroup, time to strategize, time to...Time to get shot at apparently.

Whoever he was he had guts to break through Steve's cover fire to start firing himself.

Steve's feet were making a retreat before he even thought to tell them to. Wartime reflexes. However, those reflexes were made on the ground, where sensible people fought their foot battles. Up here, _in the air_ , there was nowhere to fall back to...just fall.

For a moment he just dangles there, appreciating the irony that he was trying to fall to his death in the ocean, _again_. Then Stark's voice reaches him, "Cap, hit the lever," and he remembers. He has to live. Has to save Howard's son. _Tony_. 

"I need a minute here!"

* * *

 

Oh, this was bad. This was very, very bad. Tony had a brief moment, as his gauntlets lifted away from the turbine, to think, _Yep, just keeps getting better_ , before the next turbine connected with his back and then all he could think was, "Uh-oh."

The hell was that? What the _actual hell was that_?!

Captain America was not the type to leave a guy hanging. Sure they hadn't been getting along the greatest but, hey, they didn't work together _so_ awfully that Rogers would just let him spin around a bit for the heck of it. Something must be...Oh. That guy.

And, really, at this point it was all he could do to stay in the air so, when you thought about it, not that Tony did, plowing into the hostile was the only sensible option. Save Cap, get himself back to solid...well, not ground but floor at least. Win-win.

Now he could focus on the next step...whatever that was.

 

 


	9. As I Watch You Mourn

"Lost my one good eye."

Tony wasn't really listening to Fury's whole speech. He was too angry and he didn't have a history of handling his anger well. He was angry at Agent for thinking he could go up against Loki on his own; angry at Fury for using his friend's death for his own agenda; angry at his soul mate for not showing; angry at the universe for being so needlessly cruel. _Way to kick a man when he's down._ So he sat there, ignored Fury, and stewed, worrying his timer like a bruise. So much so he almost misses it.

_One good eye..._

Son of a bitch.

Lying, manipulative, son of a goddamn _bitch_.

"Phil Coulson died still believing in that idea."

Tony stood abruptly. You don't send your one good eye into battle without making sure he made it out.

"In heroes."

He couldn't just sit there and listen to Fury's lies.

His secrets had secrets but he kept them for a reason, always a reason, so what could possibly be his reasoning behind hiding this from them. In the end it really didn't matter because there was no mistaking what he'd seen on Fury's face.

* * *

 

Phil Coulson was quite possibly the most awkward human being Steve had ever met. Coming from Steve that was really saying something, he felt he'd spent most of his pre-frozen existence being thrown from one awkward attempt at communication to another. His first encounter with him was uneasy silence in the car and mortifying conversation on the quinjet. Then there was the conversation about signing his trading cards. _Lord, they made trading cards._ He'd agreed quickly just to keep the poor man from talking more.

So hearing Fury refer to Agent Coulson as his "one good eye" was a bit of a stark contrast to the man he had spoken to, as was the awed and slightly fearful expressions junior agents got on their faces whenever Coulson was spoken about. But he could see it in Tony's eyes as he mourned the man. Phil Coulson was a man to be respected.

So when Tony left abruptly, seemingly disrespecting the memory of a man he clearly held in high regard, Steve only waited long enough for Fury to finish before he followed, bloody cards staining one of his pockets. _"I had some design input."_ Fitting.

* * *

 

Tony found himself staring at the capped hole Thor fell through calculating and dismissing options for Phil's survival. Agent was alive. Somehow, someway, Phil Coulson had survived his encounter with Loki. That wasn't even a question. The question was why Fury was allowing them to believe, even willfully leading them into the belief, that their friend had died. The one person each member of their little powder keg independently knew.

"Was he married?"

"No," he couldn't let on. Not until he knew Fury's play, "There was a cellist...I think."

* * *

Steve could see it in his eyes, Tony had regarded Agent Coulson as a friend. The Iron Man was impressive and powerful but Steve was beginning to realize Tony's real weapon was his tongue. The man babbled near constantly. He babbled to distract, to deflect. He babbled to defend himself and Steve ached to do that for him. Tony was hurting.

"He was out of his league. He should have waited. He should have..."

But that wasn't the whole of it. Tony knew something, or nearly knew something.

"Sometimes there is no way out, Tony."

"Right, I've heard that before," he was dismissive but Steve knew if he wanted to flush out what Tony was thinking on he'd have to keep him talking.

"Is this the first time you've lost a soldier?"

"We are _not_ soldiers," Tony lashed out, obviously regretting it as soon as he finished. Steve didn't take it personally, just gave him a level gaze and waited for him to continue, "I'm not marching to Fury's fife."

"Neither am I." _I'm on your side. Where are we going?_

* * *

 

Even if Tony wasn't a soldier, Rogers...Steve was. And currently Steve was waiting for Tony to point him in the right direction. _So this is what a partnership feels like._ Tony was so used to being the smartest person in the room, so used to looking down to everyone, looking someone in the eye was a _revelation_. And, _god_ , his eyes really were that blue. In the very back part of his mind, the part that still felt the soft pressure of heat where Steve's hand had balanced him, he thought surely it was only the heat of the argument that made him remember the other man's gaze as so blindingly, piercingly blue. But here was the evidence to the contrary as that same gaze followed his pacing.

"Loki needs a power source."

A power source. _Light bulb. Eureka. Hell yeah. Whatever floats your boat but that, that right there is the train of thought we need. Oh, I need to keep him._ He was off to the races before that last thought truly  even took hold.

Tony knew he was babbling again. He could hear it, sort of, in an off-in-the-distance way. His mouth was rattling off a short hand version of his thought process, words tumbling out in half-hearted coherence while his mind flitted around like a magpie gathering up the various pieces to compile the grand picture. And there was Steve each step of the way, giving just the right stepping stones, leading by following, until finally, "Son of a bitch."


	10. On Our Way

This trip over the Atlantic was incomparable with the last one. His name was once again going to be associated with death and destruction. No matter how much he tried to separate himself from his history in war to make the Stark name mean something he could be proud of, there it was again: war and horror and "Stark" right in the middle of it.

He took a moment, several in fact, to be absolutely _relieved_ that Pepper was no where near the Tower. He didn't let his thoughts linger on Pepper in general, too painful, too distracting.

Unfortunately that meant his oh so helpful brain wanted to focus on the good Captain.

_"Where are we going?"_

_Tony's march toward the armor actually faltered for a step._

_"You know where he is," Steve clarified, like it was the most obvious thing in the world, like he wasn't blowing Tony's mind with his ability to follow the rabbit trails Tony's mouth ran along chasing his mind, "So: Where are we going?"_

_Tony was dumb struck. All he had ever heard about Captain Steven Rogers, and, god, had he heard a lot, had wax poetic about the man's leadership skills; that his very stance, presence, and voice made you willingly follow him through hell. Yet here he was, this very same man, willing to take someone else's lead, to take Tony's lead, because he recognized that Tony had information that he didn't._

_Growing up it had seemed most days Howard did nothing but compare Tony to Steve Rogers just to watch him fail. The day his 14 year old self had accused Howard of being in love with the fallen hero was the closest he'd ever seen his father come to actually hitting him. Instead he had turned on his heel and shut himself in his study with a decanter not to be seen for a week. Tony had hated Captain Steven Rogers. Hated him with a fire he had carried around in his empty soul his whole life._

_Now there was a different emotion running around in him that Tony just couldn't place. Sometimes Steve shone so bright he was painful to look at, though Tony found he couldn't look away._

_He could tell by Steve's face he had been silent too long. Quick! Cover! Cover! Cover!_

_"Uh, New York," Tony said, "turns out we have similar taste in buildings."_

_They reached his armor then. Yeah, that was going to take a little work_.

Why did he have to be so...everything his father had ever said he was and more? Why couldn't Tony just _hate_ him like he thought he had? God, he wanted to punch him in his perfect teeth...well, he wanted to do something with his perfect teeth...wow, his brain was _so_ not helpful right now.

* * *

This trip over the Atlantic was incomparable with the last one from the start.

"Son, just don't." Steve knew he was being a bit frank, and probably a bit terrifying as well if the way the agent scrambled off the jet was any indication.

"I can't believe you actually just said that," Agent Romanoff said in a voice that was probably a laugh, "You are so old."

"That's what happens when you're born in 1918." It was almost like Steve was the straight man in a vaudeville routine. Steve. Straight. Wasn't that a laugh.

"I think he peed his pants a little," Agent Barton chimed in from where he was flipping switches in the cockpit.

If it weren't for...just everything he probably would have found the whole conversation comfortable. Even still, their humor reminded him of Bucky, it was bittersweet but as it stood..."It's been a long day."

"You and me both, pal," Agent Barton responded, deadpan and straight faced.

It was hard to reconcile the man currently sitting at the controls as the same man who had led the attack on his friends and coworkers just hours ago but it was clear Agent Barton wouldn't be forgetting it anytime soon. Steve felt bad for pitying him and even worse for how much better it made him feel to know someone was having a worse day than him.

Agent Barton's suit did nothing to hide his zeroes. Somewhere out there he had a soul mate he was going to have to explain today to but at least he had one.

It was with guilt and shame Steve realized the emptiness, now creeping back in as his eyes followed Barton's timer, had been absent the entirety of his time with Tony Stark.

_The Iron Man armor looked even more beat up than it had while Tony was wearing it._

_"I'm going to get Romanoff. You going to need a lift?" Steve asked, he had a hard time believing Tony could actually get the suit up and running enough to get himself to New York but he had learned from the start: Never underestimate the genius of a Stark. It was one of the few qualities Steve had actually seen Tony share with Howard._

_"Don't worry about me, Cap," Tony answered, waving his hand at him, "You just go get your ride. I'll meet you there." Sometimes he was so painfully Howard's son and others Steve could hardly see any resemblance._

_For example: Steve had never had a problem staring at Howard, never felt like he was being drawn to him by an irresistible, invisible force. Yes, in all the ways that truly counted Tony was nothing like Howard._

_They had spent most of their acquaintance arguing, so why was Steve so captivated by him?_

_He lingered only a moment longer before going to find Agent Romanoff. Time to get his head in the game. War was no time for distractions._

War was no time for distractions and nothing had ever distracted Steve like Tony did. How could anyone see with the light of him in their eye? Once he'd seen him, really seen, he couldn't see anything else. Why did he have to slot so perfectly into that empty space he'd been carrying with him his whole life? Why couldn't Steve just look away? Why did he have to be so broken?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 chapters in a week. Are you proud of me? I'm proud of me.


	11. We May Not Have Each Other But We Are Not Alone

Ok, so threatening a god wasn't necessarily a good idea, it certainly wasn't a safe one but Tony was feeling particularly reckless today. Nothing like saving the world to get the adrenaline flowing. Nothing like adrenaline to make you forget just how much life sucked right now. He'd been blown up by his own bomb, kidnapped, tortured, mutilated, betrayed, had his world view crumble around him, tried to die a slow, painful death at the hands of the things keeping him alive...but this, this emptiness, ever present when it should have been filled, that might actually be the thing that killed him. Well, it wouldn't have a chance if the Mark 7 didn't get there before the pavement. And wouldn't that just be fitting, Tony Stark smeared across the sidewalk in front of his self-titled tower like a stock broker in 1929.

Of course the Mark 7 did save him from that particular ending. Now he just needed a snapping one liner for giving Loki a nice warm repulsor to the face. It needed to be sharp, concise, and fully sum up his heroic threatening...

"And there's one other person you pissed off." As Loki raised his staff it was clear now he considered them a threat, considered Tony a threat. Perfect.

"His name is Phil."

Boom, repulsor. Nailed it.

He didn't have any delusions that the blast, as awesome as it was, would do more than stun a god-demigod-alien-guy but it should keep him down long enough for Cap to get there...and for Tony to get in a little well deserved gloating. Got to keep it subtle. Steve was an old-fashion kind of man, understandably so since 2 weeks ago it was the 40's for him. 2 weeks...

He was interrupted from that particularly painful thought by a loud groan. Well, not so much a groan as a low, deep resonance that seemed to send even the air shivering in its wake. In short: not a good sound. In Tony's time of redefining the human understanding of practical engineering he had heard many unnatural sounds, which was probably how his brain immediately recognized the sound as the one made when space-time was made to fold and split in a way it really didn't want to. Even as the sound was clicking together in his brain he looked up, realizing that it would only mean...a big hole in the sky apparently. Yeah, definitely not a good thing. Especially when the little green man's big, ugly, angry cousins came streaming out of it.

"Right," he said, as Jarvis switched the HUD to battle red, "Army."

It didn't take long for taking on Loki's forces on his own had lost its novelty. Where were they? He was pretty sure he signed up for backup for this part. Of course he's awesome, the Iron Man was a work to shock and amaze, but this was an army. From space. _An army from space._  Yeah, he definitely signed up for backup on this one.

* * *

Ok, maybe letting Tony go on ahead wasn't the best idea. He was already waist deep into battle when they arrived. Why would he wait? Arrogant, impatient...Logically Steve knew the presence of Loki's army was not due to Tony, impatient or otherwise, but all he could see was Tony flying headlong into danger. Alone. Again. One would think he would learn from his initial confrontation with Thor, or from their cooperation on the helicarrier. He didn't have to fight alone anymore. They were a team, a mildly antagonistic, slapped together team but a team nonetheless.

So their landing wasn't exactly smooth but Barton could hardly be blamed for that. Losing one of two engines tends to wreak havoc on the handling. But all in all an alien army couldn't be too different from a terrestrial one, especially since their weapons seemed pretty similar to Hydra weapons.

Take out Red Skull and Hydra scatters. Take out Loki and his alien army goes back where it came from.

"We need to get back up there."

Except Hydra never had giant flying armored whale slugs with teeth that birthed more soldiers...What was going on in this new century? Was this normal and nobody told him?

He glanced over at Natasha and Barton. Career soldiers and spies really weren't a good basis for seeing what was normal or not. But this was war and war, for better or worse, was something Steve could do.

Just like breathing after the serum, same action preformed in a new way with new tools.

New war, new team, new enemy, same strategy.


	12. I've Got Your Doubts (Under My Skin)

Before, during The War all he’d wanted was for it to end. To keep his men alive, to end the war, to make it home. Well he’d done that. Apart from Bucky they had all made it home alive. The war had ended. Even Steve had made it home eventually.

_“I finally got everything I ever wanted and I’m wearing tights.”_

It completely boggled his mind that the first thing he’d done, after the Hollowing Commandos had officially received sanction, was to ditch the tights for some heavy-duty leather yet here he was: 70 years into the future and in tights again, like someone had looked at his USO costume and thought, “Yep, those are some swell threads right there.”

Did people even _say_ “swell” anymore?

God, he was going to have to start a list.

As humble as Steve tried to keep himself, he truly wasn’t used to people questioning his orders. He hadn’t realized how much he had taken the wartime authority of the stars and stripes for granted until he had a police officer looking him in the eye and asking, "Why the hell should I take orders from you?"

Saving civilians was going to be a lot harder in this cynical age.

Still, this would never be the place where he doubted himself. Never again.

_“You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers. Everything special about you came out of a bottle.”_

 The words had sunk into him, under his skin, despite that he knew it wasn’t true. Maybe, during his days as a dancing monkey but never here. Here, war, was where he was what he was always meant to be. The serum slotted in place like it was correcting nature’s mistake.

Back Before, he’d always felt larger than that his skin, bigger than his bones, stronger than his flesh. Bucky had told him he had a Napoleon complex. He’d told Bucky there was no historical backing for the idea that Napoleon was short.

The idea that the citizens of this new age might not know him had never entered his mind. When strangers ignored him on the subway he’d thought they were simply being polite, not that they legitimately didn’t recognize him.

Thankfully, if there was anything he learned from his tour with the USO it was the value of a good pose. Let his skill speak for itself.

It was gratifying that he wasn’t so old-fashioned as to no longer be impressive, to know that in a world of gods, aliens, and…flying suits of armor he could still hold his own. And yet…

There were intervals where Tony’s words summoned, like a call to Mass. They beckoned him come worship at the altar of his own deep-rooted insecurities like no other force had, not Before and not since. He kept his focus of the battle but those words resonated around his head like the cry of a bell, sharp yet _hallow_.

* * *

Tony’d had too many people doubt him in his life, doubted his intellect, doubted his sincerity, doubted his integrity. He’d spent his whole life trying to put some or other doubt to rest. The Iron Man was to be the ultimate doubt clearer. It remained the one thing he refused to regret.

_“Big man in a suit of armor.”_

And yet there was still doubt.

_“Take that away what are you?”_

At the worst times he would hear Steve, the Captain’s cutting words ring in his ears. So he did what he always did: buried the truth of them behind sharp smiles and sharper wit and proved them wrong. There had never been an individual person with so much instantaneous effect on him as Steve Rogers. Maybe it was his world class daddy issues. Maybe it was the way the other man got all the goodness assumed of him in equal measure to Tony’s evils. Maybe they were meant to be opposites, meant to be…

Though each time they came back they rang that much more hollow, like they were said by someone else _to_ someone else. Tony could recall his responses in the same. He had the memory of the words, how they felt in his throat, on his tongue. But the creation of them, the intent behind them, felt like something outside himself.

Multitasking was always his game plan, his brain moved too fast for anything else. But maybe fighting armored flying space slugs could warrant his full attention.

Or at least more of it.

Sci-fi was cool but sci-fi clearly required a…strategy and _a lot_ more “bang.” Just got to hold out until either Steve informed him of a plan or his new green lab buddy showed up. Until then…

“What the hell was step 2?”


	13. Let's Start...Something

The moment Dr. Banner drew his attention Steve's first thought was _Tony is going to be impossible after this,_ his second was to let Natasha speak first. He wasn’t blind he could see on her face when she revealed Dr. Banner’s identity to him how much it had cost her. Dr. Banner likely returned because it was the right thing to do but Steve wasn’t naïve enough to think it had _nothing_ to do with the fact he knew his soulmate would be here.

“Now might be a really good time for you to get angry.”

Why did all the geniuses he met seem hell-bent on entering dangerous situations unprepared? First Howard Stark and his misadventures with captured Hydra weapons, then Tony taunting a super powered alien psychopath without his armor, and now Dr. Banner: walking up to the crashing behemoth just as calm as you please. Calm was literally the opposite of what they needed from the man at this moment.

Then Dr. Banner looked back at them his eyes told the sadness of his secret, “I’m always angry.”

In those words Steve recalled the man’s words on the helicarrier.

_I put a bullet in my mouth and the Other Guy spit it out._

This was a man who suffered every moment in a pain he could never escape. Steve could only hope that with Natasha he might find peace.

Tony _knew_ this. He had known before any of them that Bruce was loyal enough, good enough, strong enough. Tony’s evaluation was one to heed. True his strategies were all action no substance but he saw solutions, resources, Steve how have never had considered. Deep in his soul that incomplete part of him felt just a little less hollow. He only hoped Tony could forgive him for all those horrible things he didn’t mean.

* * *

Tony was a genius. That wasn’t even his ego talking that was just a flat-out _fact._ But several _long_ minutes after he’d gotten the giant’s attention and he _still_ had no plans for a step 2. Currently step 2 was not letting the thing catch him. Ok so more realistically step 2 was wait to hear Steve’s plan. The relief he felt to hear Steve’s voice beginning to shape that plan felt alarmingly similar to “warm-and-fuzzies” but he buried it.

“We got Stark up top. He’s going to need us to…” Then he just trailed off. What the hell was going on?

_Kind of need that plan here, Cap._

“I’ve seen worse,” Agent Romanoff’s voice comes over bringing with it no clarity and no comfort. In fact, it sounded like _more_. At this point Tony couldn’t handle _more._ He was isolated from the group with no idea how to get out of the situation. Then Steve came on with clarification.

“Stark, we got him.”

“Banner?” of course, it was Bruce. That guy was the classic example of internally tortured hero, it was really just the relief that brought his inflection down from statement to question. This game of cat and mouse he was playing was getting a little too squirrely.

“Just like you said,” were he a little less…panicked at the moment that admission would have been a source of great joy and pride but as it was…

“I’m bringing the party to you.” Only so much longer he could evade that much teeth.

“I-I don’t see how that’s a party.”

Tony would have given just about anything to see her face right then. True this was the fate of the world in the balance but this totally got her back for the whole let’s-stab-Tony-in-the-neck-while-he’s-dying thing.

But all fun aside if that thing continued on its new trajectory the Avengers would be squashed flat. Obviously can’t have that he was just learning how to play nice. 

Now all that was left was to deal with the stragglers with big, floaty, and ugly out of the way. Then above their heads the sky gave a great heave and suddenly they had bigger problems.

"Call it, Cap."

When he says it, it’s an apology, an acknowledgement, and a new beginning all in one. He couldn’t see Steve’s face at that moment, all of them looking at that wrong bit of sky, but somehow it resonated in him, down to his _soul_ , Steve got it. When Steve turns around and starts giving orders Tony feels just that bit lighter. _This is the start of something,_ he thought and immediately felt guilty for doing so.


End file.
